News: Writer Paul Zachariah has accused the CPM in Kerala of moral policing. (In his case this involved being beaten up by student marxists).
Nothing could be farther from the truth. The marxists have no morals! They have what are called dogmas. Zachariah should know that moral policing can be done only by Bajrang Dal and other senas. They are all, he should know, of the saffron brigade (never mind that Kashmir is famous for its saffron).
News : Indian Jaspreet Singh burns himself in Melbourne.
The Aussie police have rejected the charge that it was a race related crime. The only time in which race was involved was when Jaspreet ran while shedding his burning clothes, said an Aussie cop who did not want to be identified as he might be mistaken to be facetious. The Aussie police also claim to have solved the thousands of cases of supposed assault on Indians. The broken noses and jaws, punctured stomachs and shattered ribs were, in their view, all self-inflicted. They knew that the Indians could not be trusted…but even they are finding it hard to believe that the chaps could be as masochistic as this. Meanwhile Jaspreet’s wife has asked why Jaspreet should try to burn himself. The answer is that he was trying to please the Aussies by helping them in their race related public service.
News : Ruchika molester Rathode has been invited to take part in the Lolita syndrome meet that is being held in Manhattan to honour Vladimir Nabokov who wrote about the fascination of young girls.
Rathode has telegrammed his inability to attend because of the legal hassles he finds himself in for his lifelong passion. He has however wished all the members his best wishes, and lauded them on the contemplation of the pleasures of under-age liasons.
The novel Lolita, Rathode found out after some investigation, was about a middle-aged man who was involved with a 12-year-old girl. Rathode had first been scandalised on somebody infringing his copyright in the matter, but his lawyer wife reminded him that Lolita was written in 1955. An unfazed Rathode is said to be discussing how he can protect his exclusive rights in the matter.
A Bloody Gowda
Now the world knows why it is better to have a snoring, or sleepy or drowsy Deva Gowda than an awake Gowda. He let his loose tongue wag at Karnataka chief minister Yeddyurappa by calling him a bloody B..Ever the son of the (night?)soil, he has given a Kannada equivalent – Bosudi Maga (which means, I am told, son of a bitch). He later clarified that it was only the action of taking away farmers’ land that he had referred to…. How can a noun qualify a verb is a question any student will ask. But why the hell should a farmer worry about grammar, that too English grammar, Gowda asked, and went on to plant a poisonous weed in a paddy field!
Meanwhile, Gowda’s son Kumaraswamy has hastened to add that despite the use of the word by his father, he has nothing to do with it.